What I’ve Learned About Boundaries, Joy, and Presence from My Dogs
Over the years, I’ve realized some of the most profound lessons from dogs about boundaries come not from training books – but from quiet moments on the floor with my pup. And before I became a dog mom, I was pretty good at adulting (or so I thought).
✅ Paid bills on time.
✅ Got my 10,000 steps (sometimes).
✅ Responded to emails within a socially acceptable window.
But then I brought home this four-legged life coach in a fur coat. And Porter gently – and sometimes not-so-gently – reminded me: You’re doing the most. Sit down. Sip water. Enjoy the sunshine.
The Season I Slowed Down – And Let Porter Lead the Way
In 2016, everything came to a screeching halt. I was hospitalized unexpectedly when Porter was just 10 months old. I had rescued him that January – this scruffy, wide-eyed little pup who had no idea how much I’d come to need him. By September, I was the one in need of rescuing.
Recovery meant slowing down. For eight weeks, right through the holidays, I was home – healing, recalibrating, and unknowingly enrolling in what I now call “The Porter School Being Present.”
Porter became my shadow. We slept in late and took two, sometimes three, slow walks a day – not power walks, but “stop and sniff every weed” strolls. We prepped meals together (he was very interested in anything steak), curled up for late-night movies, and moved at a pace that felt more like living and less like surviving.
He never once made me feel like I should be doing more. He was content just being with me. No expectations. No rush. Just love, presence, and a quiet nudge toward what matters.
From Burnout to Belly Rubs: Lessons From Dogs About Boundaries and Slowing Down
Here’s what Porter taught me then – and in the years since, along with Carly, who joined our family in 2022 – about boundaries, joy, and being all the way here:
1. Boundaries Are Healthy – And You’re Allowed to Have Them
My dogs are the pros of “I’m done now.”
Playtime over? Porter walks away.
Too much petting – (is that a real thing)? Carly shifts positions and gives me that look.
Tired of the loud humans? They find a quiet room and put themselves to bed.
Me? I used to respond to every text immediately, over-schedule myself, and feel guilty about saying no – even to things I didn’t want to do.
Now? I ask myself: “What would Porter or Carly do?”
(Answer: they’d take a nap and not explain it.)
The Lesson: Saying no isn’t rude. It’s self-respect with a side of sanity.
2. Routine Creates Freedom
Carly knows when it’s mealtime, walk time, nap time, and Zoomie o’clock. And honestly? I thrive with that kind of structure too.
Routines used to feel restrictive – now they feel like little anchors that keep me grounded when life gets messy.
- We walk.
- We snack.
- We stare into the distance around 3:00 pm and question everything. (It’s called balance.)
The Lesson: There’s joy in predictability – especially when it includes snacks and fresh air.
3. Lessons From Dogs About Boundaries – Presence > Productivity
When Porter is outside, he’s outside. Same for Carly.
Nose to the wind. Ears up. Fully engaged with the squirrels across the yard.
Me? I used to check my email every few minutes.
Now, I leave my phone behind and listen to the crunch of leaves or the pitter-patter of little paws trotting next to me like a fuzzy metronome.
They don’t multitask. They singletask, hard.
And their lives are richer because of it.
The Lesson: You don’t have to do five things at once. Just do one thing well – and fully.
4. Rest Is Sacred (and Not a Luxury)
My dogs take naps like it’s their job.
Middle of the morning? Nap.
Early afternoon? Nap.
After a short walk? Nap.
In the middle of my Zoom call? Porter is in bed, and Carly is snoring on camera.
They don’t feel guilty for recharging.
Slowly but surely, I stopped feeling guilty, too.
Now, I schedule my rest with the energy I used to plan my hustle. Because burnout is real, and honestly? I’d rather follow their lead.
The Lesson: Rest isn’t a weakness. It’s how you power up for the next round of life.
5. Joy Is in the Smallest, Silliest Things
Sometimes, it’s Porter’s tail wagging when I open the fridge; it’s their zoomies at bedtime or Carly tossing a plastic bottle (her favorite toy) in the air like she’s on Pawject Runway.
They both find delight in everything.
And that reminds me to slow down and celebrate the little wins – like a great glass of wine, a good hair day, or finishing a blog post before midnight.
The Lesson: Joy isn’t always loud. Sometimes, it’s curled up beside you with dog treat breath.
Final Thoughts on Lessons From Dogs About Boundaries
Porter and Carly are not just my dogs.
He’s my alarm clock, therapist, accountability buddy, and CEO of reminding me to live a little softer. She’s my boundary queen, joy detector, and a daily reminder that rest is productive.
They don’t over-explain, over-extend, or overthink.
And now? Neither do I.
